Some real sweet music

Music has helped me through tough times. Music has helped raise me. Some music I feel with my whole being. I hope you get that feeling too.

These are some of my favourite songs.

In the Metal genre:

KoRn -Dead Bodies Everywhere @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0eCQ9F1OPvs
Finger Eleven - Suffocate @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gQQrO4P9zTg
Type O Negative - Black No.1 @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFwYJYl5GUQ&ob=av2e
Slipknot - Wait And Bleed @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1zCN0YhW1s&ob=av2e
Dark Tranquility - Miserys Crown @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NKjzDU7V7es
Scar Symmetry - Domination Agenda @ ttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PgS4xiHR3e8
Metallica - The Unforgiven 2 @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GoTcb6vtGEo
In Flames - Come Clarity @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNhvGmW4q_w
Disturbed - I'm Alive @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJ-2J0b1uS0
Raised Fist - Friends And Traitors @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hez7bGbutBs
System Of A Down - She's Like Heroin @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sSzJNhFcp7o
As I Lay Dying - Forsaken @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TB_D6jIqDf0
August Burns Red - Carpe Diem @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iORrUiEniXY

In the Rock/Punk genre:

Puddle Of Mud- Psycho @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDdeOncpD5E&ob=av2e
Shinedown - 45 @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MLeIyy2ipps&ob=av2e
Sublime - Santeria @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AEYN5w4T_aM&ob=av2n
Three Days Grace - Animal I Have Become @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xqds0B_meys&ob=av2e
Gorillaz - Kids With Guns @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VCkFSe3voRc&ob=av2e
NOFX - You're Wrong @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUZ5gGO0_Pw
Cinder - She Said @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T3syECpsts4
Skillet - Awake And Alive @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2aJUnltwsqs&ob=av2e

Enjoy.

Where I'm going

I've been institutionalized for so long I've lost my cash flow. And spending all my time locked up inside has made me gain weight. I've gone from kickboxing, weightlifting, moneymaking and partying to being fat and broke. It's time for me to resurrect and make a  good life out of what has become a sad excuse for a life. I'm gonna do like 50 cent taught me. Get rich or die trying. And I'm gonna get back in shape. How am I gonna do it? -Discipline, vision, hard work.


I love money.

What I come from

If alcohol makes you prettier, drugs make you more awesome.

Drugs can be a fantastic experience. Pushing the limits of well-being, feeling as and happy and at peace as possible. Feeling way better than any other thing can make you feel. Experiencing bliss, feeling of purpouse, letting go of your sorrows and just appreciating life without a single care in the world.

But. They take their toll. After the high comes a low. All that you felt at peace with a moment ago now feels like a fucking shitload of problems, agony, pain. All that you've suppressed with the drug comes back ten times stronger to fuck you. Drugs will cloud your vision and your judgement. They will make you cold. They will make you forget your loved ones and forget who you are. They fuck with your mind. They fuck with your life. They can erase all your childhood memories or they can make you cold enough to just go out and stab someone.

There are people who manage to integrate drugs with their lives and keep it on a sane level. They can benefit from drug use. But most people can't. When having tasted it's extremely hard to keep your drug intake low enough not to be dangerous. If you haven't tried drugs my advice to you is don't. If I could live my life again I'd do it without the drugs.


I've decided no more drugs for me. No more feeling good when I don't deserve it. No more fucking over people I really like to get a fix. No more living in la-la-land.

"The limits of tyrants are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppress"

It's that easy. Take no shit. Don't let anyone tell you your place.

Question authority.

If you are prepared to bleed for your freedom, your rights and for what you want and what you believe in you can make it in this world. Those who simply accept their fate are actually the ones who keep the tyrants alive.

Inner turmoil

I'm swimming in a sea of energies. So surreal yet so very real and true. It's a powerful experience.

Restless souls within me are cutting, killing, screaming, transforming and tormenting anything they can get a hold of. Who am I in all this mess? All of them I suppose.

I am never alone

My insanity has showed me things I could never have dreamt about. I know now that the mind is an unlimited  tool of imagination, creation, adventure and pleasure and as the universe is constantly expanding and is capable of virtually anything in the long run. There are many "mes" in me. Some kind, some mean. They speak to me, and show me things. They sometimes hurt me, make me feel physical pain, and sometimes torture me mentally. They have driven me to do crazy shit. But they also let me in on amazing facts, show me wonderful visions, make me sharper, stronger. And I hope one day I will have them all under control and truly reap the full benefits of having them. After all they're all parts of me.

Are you in control of yourself? Are you in control of your life? Do you do what will get you what you desire? When you think of doing something you want to do do you have something telling you you can't? If you do fuck that something! Don't let anything or anyone stand in the way of you getting what you want. You live once. You have that life to accomplish something and pass the best you can on to your offspring. Then you die and that's it.

Crazy me have to really really think and really strain myself to appear normal enough to be taken seriously. That being until I find a sane me to have as a straight face and learn to use my madness in a charismatic way. People don't want to have anything to do with madness. It scares them that they can be connected to madness and seen as different, or that the madness will pass on to them. They are not all wrong.
But you, normal, sane person you have it naturally, the sanity and common ground with people that you can always get by on. If you dare to think outside the box and nurture your free spirit and crazy sides as well you can really benefit from them and have more fun.

Intro

I write here to let you understand who I am, maybe help you understand who you yourselves are and to give you advice that comes from a person who is in a state that you don't want to be in. Advice that can help, without you having to become insane like me to understand them. Sure, I have learnt to find joy in and good use of my disease, but it's a hell of a risk to take to let yourself become insane. I don't recommend it for anyone. The type of madness I recommend is doing what feels right for you but that other people might think of as crazy and label as crazy and not normal. Fuck what they think.

I want to contribute with my opinions on things. Maybe I can make you think about something you would have missed otherwise. And this writing is a sort of rehabilitation for me, to get back on track.

Get to know me. Please share your thoughts.